211th entry
FOr the past few days, I either didn't slept well or didn't slept @ all . I have been thinking a lot of things throughout the nite.. also did crying alot toO..
Yesterday nite, im having a conversation with my friend that i knew for years.. Somehow i pop her one question asking whether am i a strong gal? i got such a reply back.
"toward family matter - yes.
For relationship - no
friendship matter - sometime but mayb u r a bit grey pax..."
i was stunned.. she really understand me well.. She knew me for 12 yrs.. therefore she had seen all my ups and downs till now.. I have two kind of side inside me. It will appear according to situation. I need to be strong in home to fight for my rights but i was weak in term of relationship.
Last nite, i wanna to entry this topic but i gave up due to the server problem..
I received a msg saying mentioning abt "my lover". The "lover" that some1 mention in msg was refering to louis.. I understand some friends are meant to be a joke. However the word "lover" is toO serious. I do hope friends stop linking him and me. I had mention this matter hundred, thousand and millions of times that we are not an item. I will be soon going to be annoyed if this joke continue on.. This matter shd end years ago. I tink none of any entertainment news did rumoured a couple to be an item for 8 years.. However i was linked with him for that long..
Oh, i received a msg from louis that he had confirmed studying in my school.. i dunno this is a blessing or another headache for me..
Yesterday nite, im having a conversation with my friend that i knew for years.. Somehow i pop her one question asking whether am i a strong gal? i got such a reply back.
"toward family matter - yes.
For relationship - no
friendship matter - sometime but mayb u r a bit grey pax..."
i was stunned.. she really understand me well.. She knew me for 12 yrs.. therefore she had seen all my ups and downs till now.. I have two kind of side inside me. It will appear according to situation. I need to be strong in home to fight for my rights but i was weak in term of relationship.
Last nite, i wanna to entry this topic but i gave up due to the server problem..
I received a msg saying mentioning abt "my lover". The "lover" that some1 mention in msg was refering to louis.. I understand some friends are meant to be a joke. However the word "lover" is toO serious. I do hope friends stop linking him and me. I had mention this matter hundred, thousand and millions of times that we are not an item. I will be soon going to be annoyed if this joke continue on.. This matter shd end years ago. I tink none of any entertainment news did rumoured a couple to be an item for 8 years.. However i was linked with him for that long..
Oh, i received a msg from louis that he had confirmed studying in my school.. i dunno this is a blessing or another headache for me..
Now u all shd know how good my temper is.. i start to be annoyed after 8 years..
Im starting to pity my guys friends.. They are mostly being indirect linked to me for jokes or rumours cos im still single..
Luckily most knew tim and i are innocent.. otherwise another headache..
i knew ppl are worrying for me to leave on the shelve.. therefore they are hurrying "clearance sale" for me.. Not only friends, so do my family.. They had planned to get me into SDU after i graduate. However my only two intention for now is to study hard to finish my studies and clear off all my debts (they are piling higher and higher).. Other than that, nothing in my mind except these two objectives..
Comments
I tink dis issue might be too 'serious' and haunting on u. Jus be clear in your own objectives, and you have your own definition of what is right and appropriate for yourself to do.
Do not worry much abt "left on shelf" kinda thing. My older godsis is 26 and still single - she supports her father and sister on her measly over 1k pay. She knows her objectives - and not think others as much a problem.
Identify yours, and other things will be second to none.
.LuKe.