785th entry
I was very busy since i started this new career. It was mentally and physically tiring workload. It was totally different feeling when i was doing one day attachment with another location.
During these 6 weeks, it was totally confusing if i really want to pursuit this career.
There are few factors that it wear me out:
Being the same working location with my mum, it was hard to maintain personal-working relationship. I was order to draw a line with my mum in the working place and it became a joke within the working environment. Some colleagues were joking why i called my mum by name. To them (traditonal mind), they felt it was unfilial action. However, i explained that i need to draw a line. Btw, the whole working centre knew i am her daughter before i enter my first step.
Being working with my mum as colleague, she naturally treated me as daughter instead of a new colleague in the centre. I was feedbacked that my behaviour to her is totally unprofessional. I was told that i should remember my status and hers in term of job title. At first, i was told to "draw a line" and i got reprimmaced.
Bascially, the order of being draw a line mean that i do not want her to show concern or anything to me. Her job is her and mine is mine. I do not need help from her at all. That is my concept of "drawing a line".
This daughter-mother relationship in same working place did caused SOME issues and i was forced to "talk" by those seniors.
I remember one of the talks was mentioning that telling my job to my mum is a stupid issue. I was taken by that word very badly. It mean that i should not talk with my mum abt my job in future? Honestly, our relationship is not in good term and we had nothing much to talk. By adding this, i think i can totally shut my mouth with her. Nothing much we can talk in future!
Beside this relationship in work, i faced another BIG challenge. I was assigned with one class. One of the children is special, suspected to have autism. In past, my only working experience with special child are ADHD children. I understand that autism children have problem to express themselves but this children is more serious case. The child is unable to speak at all and only able to yell, scream and cries. I was told from the first day, i need to follow this child whenever this child go. In short, i became a personal babysitter instead of learning / oberserving the classroom management. I felt that this is totally not what i was recruited for. In future, i will have my own class and i am not learning as much as my other classmates learn.
Dear mentioned that there is pro and con. Con mean i learn lesser than other in term of classroom management or other steaching skills. Pro is that i was exposed to special child before i became a full fledge teacher. It mean i have experience with such special need child. However i was not going to train or became a special need teacher. I only babysit this child for hours and prevent him from dangers. This child cannot focus an item/ toy/book for more than 5 min. The child will throw the item around and run for other item at different places for every 5 min. That mean i need to run after him for hours. Honestly, what did i learn from this? Running before he start his next action?
During lessons and intergration times, i was told to look after so that the other teachers can teach other children. With that child, the teachers are unable to conduct lesson at all. THat mean i was alone with this special child and i experience falls on heads twice while i tried to stop the child from running out from the classroom or playing dangerous action like marker putting in mouth. The child will twist and struggled with great strength until i was pushed down with my head bump on ground. No one really care or concern me. They only concern the child's safety.
Other teachers tried to carry him to prevent this child to run ard. I was too weak to carry him due to his heavy weight. Other teachers also feedback that it is tiring to carry him but it is only choice. This is only way to keep an eye on other children while carry him. As for this age, teachers should not be carry any of the children at all. The children mean to learn independent and not depend on teachers / parents.
It is really confusing time for me.
During these 6 weeks, it was totally confusing if i really want to pursuit this career.
There are few factors that it wear me out:
Being the same working location with my mum, it was hard to maintain personal-working relationship. I was order to draw a line with my mum in the working place and it became a joke within the working environment. Some colleagues were joking why i called my mum by name. To them (traditonal mind), they felt it was unfilial action. However, i explained that i need to draw a line. Btw, the whole working centre knew i am her daughter before i enter my first step.
Being working with my mum as colleague, she naturally treated me as daughter instead of a new colleague in the centre. I was feedbacked that my behaviour to her is totally unprofessional. I was told that i should remember my status and hers in term of job title. At first, i was told to "draw a line" and i got reprimmaced.
Bascially, the order of being draw a line mean that i do not want her to show concern or anything to me. Her job is her and mine is mine. I do not need help from her at all. That is my concept of "drawing a line".
This daughter-mother relationship in same working place did caused SOME issues and i was forced to "talk" by those seniors.
I remember one of the talks was mentioning that telling my job to my mum is a stupid issue. I was taken by that word very badly. It mean that i should not talk with my mum abt my job in future? Honestly, our relationship is not in good term and we had nothing much to talk. By adding this, i think i can totally shut my mouth with her. Nothing much we can talk in future!
Beside this relationship in work, i faced another BIG challenge. I was assigned with one class. One of the children is special, suspected to have autism. In past, my only working experience with special child are ADHD children. I understand that autism children have problem to express themselves but this children is more serious case. The child is unable to speak at all and only able to yell, scream and cries. I was told from the first day, i need to follow this child whenever this child go. In short, i became a personal babysitter instead of learning / oberserving the classroom management. I felt that this is totally not what i was recruited for. In future, i will have my own class and i am not learning as much as my other classmates learn.
Dear mentioned that there is pro and con. Con mean i learn lesser than other in term of classroom management or other steaching skills. Pro is that i was exposed to special child before i became a full fledge teacher. It mean i have experience with such special need child. However i was not going to train or became a special need teacher. I only babysit this child for hours and prevent him from dangers. This child cannot focus an item/ toy/book for more than 5 min. The child will throw the item around and run for other item at different places for every 5 min. That mean i need to run after him for hours. Honestly, what did i learn from this? Running before he start his next action?
During lessons and intergration times, i was told to look after so that the other teachers can teach other children. With that child, the teachers are unable to conduct lesson at all. THat mean i was alone with this special child and i experience falls on heads twice while i tried to stop the child from running out from the classroom or playing dangerous action like marker putting in mouth. The child will twist and struggled with great strength until i was pushed down with my head bump on ground. No one really care or concern me. They only concern the child's safety.
Other teachers tried to carry him to prevent this child to run ard. I was too weak to carry him due to his heavy weight. Other teachers also feedback that it is tiring to carry him but it is only choice. This is only way to keep an eye on other children while carry him. As for this age, teachers should not be carry any of the children at all. The children mean to learn independent and not depend on teachers / parents.
It is really confusing time for me.
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